Still nothing, and what that means for you
Another month without a single eruption in covered territory. Our CEO on why the silence is the product, the pin shortage that isn't, and a quiet word about Indiana.
Read the issue
Dear policyholders,
September has come and gone, geologically speaking, without incident. The Allegheny Plateau remained a plateau. Lake Erie remained a lake. Flat Ohio held its flatness with a discipline I can only admire. I am told Las Vegas was hot, which our Department of Magmatic Affairs has once again traced to the sun.
Some of you have written to ask whether a month like this means your coverage is wasted. I would put it differently. Every month without a volcano is a month in which your policy performed exactly as designed. You were covered. Nothing happened. Both of those things were true at once, and one of them cost only twenty-nine dollars.
A note on pins. Rumors of a lapel pin shortage are unfounded. We hold 497. Gordon would like you to know that he is ready.
Finally, several readers in Indiana have again asked to be added to our territory. We read every letter. The answer is in the charter, and the charter is in pencil, and we are not going to erase it.
Sleep soundly,
Harlan Voss, Chief Executive Officer
In this issue
- A letter from the CEO
- Monthly territory report: nothing
- Pin inventory, reassuringly high
- Reader mail from Indiana, declined with respect
- Puzzle page: find the volcano (there isn't one)